Derby Day Build Up: Why I Hate Chelsea

Q.P.R fans are taught from an early age a few things. Expect the worst, Les Ferdinand has been knighted by the Palace and above all others hate Chelsea. I must confess that until recent years I had no problem with ‘The Chels’ however now my blood boils more and more with easing passing victory they claim.

As a native of North London rather than West Chelsea fans weren’t presented to me at every opportunity. I was always far more annoyed with idiot Spurs and Arsenal fans proclaiming their side to be the greatest. In fact the Chelsea fans I knew were all rather civilized. I would even go as far to say that I found them enjoyable to watch when Gullit, Vialli, Di Matteo and Lebouf all graced the pitch at Stamford Bridge. No more though, no more. Now I hate Chelsea above all else, there is NO team I would rather see lose than that lot from down the road.

It isn’t to do with their money. Yes Chelsea are stinking rich and changed the face of football forever, but I don’t begrudge them that. We as Q.P.R fans are in The top flight because of an influx of cash ourselves. It’s more what they did with the money that annoyed me. They were an exciting team, Crespo, Duff and Robben tearing defenses apart at will during Mourinho’s early years. Then a change of heart. Drogba came in to batter all and sundry and Chelsea became a machine, a boring football machine who seemed to suck the joy out of football. They also started stockpiling players, the best example is Shawn Wright-Phillips who was purchased, it seemed, to stop Arsenal from acquiring the diminutive winger. Chelsea soon became a bloated football machine, smashing all before them. And so the hate grew.

But a team is just that, a team. And in their team Chelsea have some deplorable players. I am aware that as a Q.P.R fan writing this I don’t really have a leg to stand on when our captain is Joey Barton, but Chelsea just seem to have a collection of detestable players. Let’s start with the captain. I despise John Terry, not because he diddled with Wayne Bridge’s girlfriend (by far the biggest loser in that whole mess was Terry’s wife who took him back) but more the fact that during The World Cup he took it upon himself to lead the worst ever coup seen in football. I always think of John Terry as that friend you have to constantly apologize for. The one with no social graces who shines a spotlight on your new girlfriends biggest insecurities when you take her down the pub to meet your friends. Everyone in your group of friends kind of accepts him and just lets him be. John Terry seems to have carved out that role for himself nicely in the dressing room, a bit of twat but one that everyone just sort of accepts. Frank Lampard seems a nice enough guy, however he always appeared to be the luckiest player in the world. Deflected shots and penalties do not a a world class player make. Perhaps the reason I hate Lampard so much is that every time he steps up to take a penalty for Chelsea he scores, yet a World Cup Qaurter Final for England he strives to hit the ball as weakly as John terry’s defence that he is a good guy. Lampard has consistently performed for Chelsea, yet never for England and it annoys me no end. Didier Drogba is another player I cannot stand. I would like to take this moment to applaud the Ivorian for his off the field work. He stopped a civil war in his home nation and is constantly working for a better tomorrow for Ivory Coast, the reality is that he is one of a few footballers who qualifies for a Nobel Peace Prize. On the field though he is a joke. Falling over at every opportunity, complaining to referees and then inevitably smashing in a thirty yard screamer to win a game in the last minute. Chelsea fans rightly love him, others cannot stand him. And there’s Ashley Cole…. enough said. There is a new breed of Chelsea players coming through who are actually sort of likable. Sturridge, Mata, McEchrean and David Luiz are all great to watch and the manager is all sorts of sexy. Perhaps there is hope for them yet.

Finally the fans. Oh the fans. Chelsea fans can be crudely split into two groups, those that were there before the money and those that weren’t. Perhaps I am in a minority but I prefer the new fans. Most teams glory hunter fan contingent are something not to be proud of, an albatross around the neck of the history of your club, not so for Chelsea. This is mostly due to the fact that their old fans have a penchant for scummy behavior. By scummy behavior I mean fighting people because of the football team they support. Chelsea are up there with Millwall, West Ham and Leeds in the category of ‘This game should be a bit tasty’ and really there is no place for them in football. I hate the other teams mentioned because violence in football is just so unnecessary. Inevitably there will be fighting around the ground on Sunday and our own contingent of moronic fans deserve to be lambasted for that, yet Chelsea just seem to bring it out of every group of fans in the country.

So there you have it. The most boring spending spree in sport, detestable players and scummy fans. What’s not to love eh? Of course the truth is that a large part of the hatred is jealousy. As Q.P.R sunk like a stone Chelsea rose like a Phoenix, and boy did it hurt. I’m sure the comments section of this piece will be littered with choice language from Chelsea fans, but hey, take it as a compliment that I hate your team. Sunday represents a chance for Q.P.R fans to partake in some spleen venting against the team they hate the most, each one has their own reason for hating Chelsea. Yes we will most likely lose, but I’m relishing it.